The Woman with the Coolest Job in the World

Forget that guy kicking about in the Great Barrier Reef, I’ve found the person with the coolest job in the world: Linda Greenlaw, Queen of the Seas, catcher of swordfish. You might be familiar with her if you’ve watched or read The Perfect Storm. Fancy a bit of a daydream while you’re sat at your desk on a cold, dark Friday afternoon? Then, read on.

For some reason, extreme fishing has captured the popular imagination. From The Perfect Storm (1991), to Trawlermen, Robson Green’s Extreme Fishing to Extreme Crabbing, and now Swords: Life on the Line about Linda and her crew, our intrigue in deep waters is unsated.

I spoke to Linda about being the only female swordfishing captain on the East Coast of America. Parts of it sound very romantic: seeing the stars as very few others will (because of being so far away from the shore), regularly watching whales. “Even though I’ve seen humpbacks, pilot whales and even orcas twice, you don’t take it for granted,” she said.

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But the business of the catch is not easy. A swordfish can weigh up to 650 pounds and five grown men are needed to restrain it so that the bill can be cut off as soon as it’s on board the ship to prevent anyone being impaled. Sometimes fish are lost beside the boat, or break the line, so it’s a thrill when the crew is successful. She explained the attraction for her, and for viewers at home:

“The fish are so beautiful. It’s a real battle between men and beast. You have to be very careful as there’s an element of real danger.”

“In today’s world most people don’t have a lot of danger and adventure in their lives and they like to live vicariously through others. They might work in a tiny little cubicle and the shows are an escape from that.”

This is not to say that the trips, which usually take 30 days, are not fraught with difficulties. The crew can end up eating Pop Tarts once their fruit and vegetables run out. If the weather is bad, the cook can hardly stand up and there is no chance they’ll be able to eat a bowl of cereal or soup. Aside from relying on frozen food, the crew only sleep for about four hours a night and once the fishing begins there’s no chance of leisurely activities like cards or watching films.

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In the worst case scenario, they don’t catch any swordfish and morale droops. “Everyone wants to make a pay cheque and if the fish aren’t there, you don’t get paid,” said Linda. A particularly special day is when they catch a fish that’s been bitten by a shark – a “chunk” – which the cook turns into steaks. Eating a swordfish fresh from the sea is a simple but great pleasure of Linda Greenlaw’s job. It is then that fighting these strange monsters seems worth it.

Swords: Life on the Line is on Discovery Channel, Tues 16th February at 9pm